


Curiosity Killed the Catfish

by cherie_morte



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Online Dating, Deception, Divorce, Infidelity, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Online Dating, Online Relationship, Online Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-06-02 04:43:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19434172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherie_morte/pseuds/cherie_morte
Summary: Jared is in love with the perfect guy. Dean is funny, hotter than the sun, and he and Jared click from the moment they start talking. The only problem is that Jared only knows Dean online, and everybody thinks he’s too good to be real. When they accidentally cross paths in real life, Jared learns that his friends were right—“Dean” doesn’t exist, but Jensen, married father of two, does.





	Curiosity Killed the Catfish

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dugindeep (hotsauce)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotsauce/gifts).



> IT'S STILL JUNE SOMEWHERE. I mean, no, it's not, but I haven't slept since it was still June and I backdated the post, so. Uh. This counts. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONTH, CUCH. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I don't know if you even remember, but when we were in L.A. for the POPCest in 2016, y'all were watching Catfish one morning and I'd never seen it so you had to explain to me what a catfish was and I, a garbage, was just like, "Hmm. Sounds like J2 infidelity fic to me." and you, a fellow garbage, were into it. IT IS THINGS LIKE THAT THAT MAKE ME LOVE YOU BEST. I decided then and there, in SECRET, that I was going to write it for your next birthday, but lol that was three years ago and also I'm three weeks late for this birthday, too. Anyway, I'm so sorry you chose to love a broken shell of a human being like me but I'm very happy you have. Your friendship brings me joy always and I admire you and learn from you every day. I hope you enjoy all the little Easter eggs I snuck in for you and also the story in general because no one loves infidelity like you and I and like two other people we know love it and you deserve to have those needs met.
> 
> ALSO THANK YOU TO [SWEETHEARTDEAN](https://twitter.com/sweetheartdean) FOR HELPING ME MAKE ART DECISIONS FOR THE BANNER. YOU ARE A VERY GENEROUS AND TALENTED AND PATIENT BABY.

Jared kicks the door to his apartment open at 5:27 pm. He’s got his arms full with his briefcase in one, his phone and keys in the other, and his mail stuffed between his lips. The first thing he does is pause to spit the envelopes out onto the counter, and he thinks for a flash how relieved he is that there’s no one here to see these moments, before smiling with his newly freed mouth, remembering that there’s one person he wouldn’t mind coming home to, even if they would tease him about stuff like that…

He has 33 minutes before Dean signs on. Just enough time to make a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs and park himself in front of his computer screen, so Jared immediately gets to work, setting the pot on the stove and beginning to sort through his mail as he waits for the water to boil.

Dean is very punctual. It’s 6 on the dot when Jared gets the first message notification.

_**DeanW78:** u should turn off ur webcam when ur eating. no1 wants to see u slurping noodles_

Jared grins, first to himself and then up at the camera, wiping his face with a paper towel to make sure there’s no red sauce left behind. Then he turns his attention back to his keyboard.

_**JRODATX:** You should learn to type in complete sentences. No one wants to decipher your circa-2001 chat speak._

_**JRODATX:** Besides, I know you think my slurping is sexy. ;o)_

_**DeanW78:** …_

_**DeanW78:** I hate when ur right._

He laughs at that, then feels his heart leaping into his throat when he sees that Dean is typing something else. A little pathetic that they’ve been doing this for months now and Jared still is on pins and needles every time he has to wait to see what Dean has to say. He briefly fantasizes about what it would be like to talk in person, with no lapses in the conversation while the other types, but the whole thing dissolves as soon as Dean’s newest message arrives, distracting him back to reality.

_**DeanW78:** How was ur day? I’ve been wishing I could ask u that since I woke up._

_**JRODATX:** I’m not sure I would have had much to say on the subject at 5 am._

_**DeanW78:** You’re a smartass. You’re lucky you’ve got a nice ass to make up for it._

_**JRODATX:** Hallelujah. Praise Jesus. I got him to correctly spell “you’re.”_

_**DeanW78:** A good Christian boy, my parents will be thrilled._

Jared makes an exaggerated face of panic at the webcam and when Dean replies with a “lol,” he bites his bottom lip, feeling bold enough to ask something he usually doesn’t.

_**JRODATX:** I’d love to see you. Make sure you actually laugh when you say you do. Think you could turn your cam on?_

Dean takes a long time to start typing anything before finally responding.

_**DeanW78:** Can’t tonight. I’m sorry. Too many people around to put on a show._

Typing a :o) emoticon into the chat box, Jared realizes he’s not actually smiling, which makes him guilty of what he just accused Dean of. Still, Dean is kind enough not to call him on it, and Jared gives him a pass, too. Dean doesn’t talk much about his living situation, and from the amount of pre-planning it takes to get a video session, he thinks it might be something Dean is ashamed of, like living with his parents. What little Jared has gathered about Dean’s family has led him to believe they’re the smothering type.

_**JRODATX:** That’s OK. We still on for tomorrow night?_

_**DeanW78:** Of course. Made sure I washed my sexiest pair of boxers. Not that I’ll be wearing them for long._

This time, Jared really does smile, sending a heated look up at the camera so Dean can see him. Their Saturday night sessions have become the highlight of his week, even if certain friends keep reminding him that Saturday night is the time he should be out getting laid for real. No one makes him feel the way Dean does. And it’s not just the sex, real or otherwise, either.

_**DeanW78:** J, I had such a long day. Tell me something about yours._

Jared loves how much Dean likes to listen to him, even when he doesn’t have much to say, but today he’s been excited since noon to share.

_**JRODATX:** You know that asshole from sales, Pellegrino?_

_**DeanW78:** Ugh, yeah. What’d he do this time?_

_**JRODATX:** So, Danneel is in the breakroom, right? Minding her own business. Mark corners her at the coffee machine, boxes her into the counter, offering to pour for her and insisting she let him take her to lunch…_

_**DeanW78:** I swear this guy is the incarnation of every office creep stereotype._

_**JRODATX:** Agreed._

_**JRODATX:** But there’s more._

_**DeanW78:** Your audience is about to fall off his seat._

_**JRODATX:** Adrianne walks in and sees it._

_**DeanW78:** oh boy_

_**JRODATX:** She doesn’t do anything._

_**DeanW78:** ur a bad liar_

_**JRODATX:** How can you tell that over a chat?_

_**DeanW78:** I can see your stupid face._

_**JRODATX:** Oh, it’s stupid now, is it?_

_**DeanW78:** Stupid hot._

_**DeanW78:** Finish ur damn story_

_**JRODATX:** Adrianne “accidentally” walked into him as he was holding the coffee pot with the freshly brewed coffee._

_**JRODATX:** Next thing we know, he’s running through the office suite, waving his arms in the air, a giant coffee stain all down the front of his clothes._

_**DeanW78:** Stop it._

_**DeanW78:** ur fucking lying!!!_

_**JRODATX:** Hold on, it gets better._

_**DeanW78:** HOW could it get better?!_

_**JRODATX:** He was screaming “SHE BURNT MY DICK!!!” OVER AND OVER AGAIN AS HE RAN THROUGH THE SUITE._

_**DeanW78:** NO HE WASN’T_

_**DeanW78:** R U 4 REAL?_

_**DeanW78:** THAT’S THE GREATEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD_

_**JRODATX:** I was just sitting at my cubicle, minding my own business, and out of nowhere, with no context, the World’s Biggest Asshole is running through the office yelling about his coffee dick. Priceless._

_**DeanW78:** Now *that* is how u start a weekend._

_**DeanW78:** Is Adrianne okay? She didn’t get in trouble or anything?_

_**JRODATX:** No, of course not. It was just a simple accident. Danneel saw the whole thing and was able to vouch for her._

_**DeanW78:** O:)_

_**DeanW78:** I love ur friends._

_**DeanW78:** Is that weird to say, considering I haven’t met them?_

_**JRODATX:** I don’t think so_

Jared hesitates a moment.

_**JRODATX:** You could, if you wanted to. Or…_

_**JRODATX:** You could at least meet me._

_**JRODATX:** See if things are as hot between us in person as they’ve been on Summonr._

As usual, the response from Dean is a long silence. A few moments where Jared watches the **…** on the bottom of the chat box as Dean begins typing something, then deletes it, then starts again, types for a long time, and ultimately deletes it. Dean has never rejected Jared’s offers to meet in person outright. He just sort of…doesn’t.

_**JRODATX:** Never mind._

_**JRODATX:** Why ruin a good thing, right?_

_**DeanW78:** I don’t think anything would be ruined._

Jared waits, holding his breath, because even that tiny acknowledgment that Dean might maybe someday want to meet him is the most he’s ever gotten on the subject. It’s progress.

_**DeanW78:** I’m just not ready for that, ok?_

He isn’t sure what that even means, but Jared has learned not to push. He’s gotten to know Dean through a gentle, slow unraveling of protective layers that has spanned months and every single time they’ve taken a baby step forward, revealed one little fact about who Dean really is, all of that has been worth it every single time. Some things merit patience. Some people.

_**JRODATX:** Of course._

_**JRODATX:** I don’t ever want to pressure you._

_**DeanW78:** ur not_

_**DeanW78:** u havent ever_

_**DeanW78:** i want that too, someday_

Everything is quiet for a moment, both online and in Jared’s empty apartment, as he waits to see if Dean adds anything to that admission.

_**DeanW78:** dont feel pressured by this either…_

_**DeanW78:** would u be willing to put on a show for me 2nite, even tho I can’t return the favor?_

Jared pushes his seat back far enough and angles his camera down so that it captures most of him, but especially his lap. Dean doesn’t have to be visible to get Jared off. His typed words, atrocious grammar notwithstanding, are more than enough. And few things turn Jared on as much as knowing that his Dean is out there somewhere, watching him and wanting him.

He gets his dick out and awaits Dean’s instructions.

“He’s fake,” Danneel announces for the third time in a row, dragging the word out until there are about seventeen ‘a’s implied. Then she rolls her menu up and points it in Jared’s direction, yelling into her makeshift megaphone. “Your! Boyfriend! Is! Fake!”

“Dean is not fake,” Jared insists, slapping the menu out of her hand. “And he’s not technically my boyfriend.”

“He would be your boyfriend if he wasn’t fake,” Adrianne says, and when Jared shoots her a look, he realizes from the expression on her face that that was actually supposed to be encouraging somehow.

“He’s a real person,” Jared mutters.

“I believe you,” Genevieve says, putting her hand over Jared’s and squeezing it. Her girlfriends both raise their eyebrows at her, but she remains loyal. “What? I sincerely believe he is a real person.”

“Sure, that’s a given, but whether the real person on the other end of that account is actually a funny, available sex god who looks like,” Misha angles his head at Jared’s phone in the middle of the table and the Summonr profile Jared has displayed on it, “that? It stretches the realm of believability. I mean, he could be anyone. He might not even be a he.”

All three of the ladies at the table perk up with interest, turning their heads in unison like a Cerberus who just saw a particularly meaty bone.

Jared, on the other hand, wrinkles his nose as he snatches his phone back. “He’s definitely a guy.”

The lesbians slump with disappointment as Jared continues, “I’ve talked to him. He’s sent me pictures. Private pictures.”

“Could have pulled them out of some gay porn star’s portfolio,” Adrianne points out.

Misha shakes his head. “Nah, that guy isn’t in the business.”

Adrianne closes her mouth and squints at him, letting her expression ask the question for her.

“Getting married doesn’t magically erase all your hobbies, you know,” he tells her. “I can be devoted to Vicki and still stay current with the gay porn scene.”

“And they say romance is dead,” Genevieve says, sighing dreamily.

“I’m not an idiot. He’s who he says he is. He’s gotten on video for me.” Jared feels his face burn a little as he thinks of all the _very personal_ messages he’s heard from that pretty mouth of Dean’s, how his deep, rich voice gives intimate detail of exactly what about Jared he finds attractive. “We talk all the time.”

Danneel leans across the table, making a too-concerned face. “Are you hearing his voice now?”

Adrianne and Misha snicker as Danneel drops the serious look for a shit-eating grin, and Jared rolls his eyes. “You guys are bad friends. You should be telling me how happy you are that I’ve found someone.”

“Jared, babe, of course we’re happy for you,” Genevieve begins, but she gets cut off.

“We just wish he wasn’t fake,” Adrianne adds in a mock version of her girlfriend’s sincere tone.

“Not everyone on the internet is a psycho murderer in disguise,” Jared tells them. “It’s 2019. People meet on apps all the time.”

“Sure, of course,” Danneel agrees. “But the keyword in your sentence was ‘meet’ and y’all aren’t doing that ever, apparently. Despite living in the same city and having plenty of overlapping availability.”

“He does seem reluctant to actually meet in person.” Genevieve’s voice is as gentle she can manage, and she makes an apologetic face when Jared looks her way, betrayed. “Considering how long you two have been talking and how serious things are.”

“He has his reasons,” Jared defends.

“Where I come from, we call those excuses,” Danneel replies.

Jared scowls at her but doesn’t really have a rebuttal. Luckily, Misha swoops in to the rescue. “I’m so tired of spending every brunch talking about Jared’s relationship problems. Either Dean is fake and that’s sad, or he’s real and I’m jealous. There’s no happy outcome, for me. How am I supposed to enjoy my cinnamon roll like this?”

“Subject change, then,” says Adrianne. “Who wants to hear about the time I burnt Mark Pellegrino’s dick?”

Danneel rolls her eyes. “Well, I was there and the rest of us have already heard it fifty-seven times, but by all means.”

Despite the dripping sarcasm, Adrianne takes her statement at face value, and before long they’re all laughing into their third mimosas and the subject of Dean’s existence or lack thereof is long forgotten.

Jared has a good routine on Saturdays. Queer brunch, errands, home for a shower, and then what he waits all week for, his and Dean’s one guaranteed night of video sessions. He’s whistling cheerfully as he walks through the Home Depot parking lot, thinking of the night he has in store after he’s done picking up the backsplash for his mom’s kitchen remodel, and he’s maybe looking too much at his phone, at the latest messages from Dean, so he doesn’t see the person in front of him until he’s walked smack into the guy.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” Jared says as he reaches out to steady the person in front of him by the shoulders. “That was completely my fau—”

The thought gets dropped as soon as he looks directly at the stranger he’s just run into and realizes it’s not a stranger at all. Jared can’t and doesn’t even want to hide the smile that overtakes his face as he says, “Dean?”

Dean looks exactly the way he does on his profile, ruling out one of Danneel’s favorite theories, that he won’t meet because he’s using outdated pictures and clever angles to disguise it when they video chat. The freckles, the bright green eyes, those long eyelashes framing them, the plush lips—it’s all right there in front of Jared.

Best of all, Dean’s face lights up with the same joy Jared is feeling, and the creases at the corners of his eyes are just as sweet in person as they’ve always been though a webcam.

“Jared,” he says, and Jared feels so much happiness and relief at seeing him here, in the real world, watching him respond to his name and know Jared’s, proving his friends and that little part of himself that couldn’t completely dismiss their arguments wrong.

Almost immediately, a storm seems to pass over him, and Jared watches as Dean’s smile dims into something that looks more like fear than anything.

Before Jared has a chance to ask what’s wrong, what’s wrong comes up behind him in the most disarming form imaginable: a pretty little redhead with a toddler balanced on her hip.

“Jensen, honey,” she says. “I thought you were going to take the cart back.”

“Jensen?” Jared asks, searching Dean’s face for an explanation, because there has to be one. Some silly misunderstanding that’ll tell him this isn’t what it looks like. Only from the defeated, devastated look on Dean’s—Jensen’s?—face, Jared knows he’s kidding himself to hope. His eyes drop to look for a ring, and sure enough, there’s a gold band on the hand reaching for him. “ _Jensen, honey_?”

Jensen stands paralyzed for so long that by the time he manages to whisper another “Jared,” the woman is next to them, smiling between them easily. “You bump into someone you know?”

“Julie, this is Jared,” Jensen says, swallowing hard as he forces a smile and turns to face his wife. “He and I went to high school together.”

Jared winces at the lie, but when he looks back to the happy couple, Jensen is watching him to see what he’ll do, obviously willing him to go along with it. Julie’s expression is warm and she hitches the kid up higher on her hip. The little boy looks just like her. And just like Jensen.

“What a small world!” she says. “If you boys want to catch up, I can go strap Elliot into his car seat. I’ll even take the cart back.”

“Actually, we were just saying goodbye,” Jared replies, turning to address her and only her. “I was on my way in, so I can use your cart.”

“That works out great.” She gives Jared a very kind smile and Jared thinks he’s never wanted to die over something so polite before in his life. “It was lovely meeting you, Jared.”

She heads to the silver mini-van next to them and Jared and Jensen both watch as she cluelessly presses a button on the side, waits as the door slides open, and starts buckling her son in for the ride home. Just a few feet away, her husband and the idiot who fell in love with him stand across from each other for the first and, Jared realizes, probably last time.

Simultaneously, it’s perfectly calm and domestic and a silent train wreck barreling through all of Jared’s hopes and dreams at a breakneck pace.

“Jared,” Jensen says again, because apparently that’s all he knows how to say. Then again, Jared wouldn’t have much to say for himself if he was Jensen, either.

Jared looks away from Jensen’s family and focuses on taking control of the cart. He’s careful not to glance in Jensen’s direction as he prepares to leave.

Suddenly, Jensen seems to remember how to walk and talk, because he moves just enough to block Jared from going and quietly says, “You’re every bit as perfect in person as I imagined you would be.”

Jared’s response is frigid as he pushes past. “At least one of us isn’t disappointing.”

“I can explain,” Jensen says in a rush. “Tonight, I’ll explain.”

Sneering, Jared looks back at Jensen over his shoulder and replies, “If you see Dean around, tell him I can't make it tonight.”

The only upside to the mess Jared has gotten himself into is that at least he knows his friends have his back. After months of warnings and watching Jared ignore every single piece of advice they doled out as he charged full speed ahead into his “relationship” with Dean, not a single one of them says I told you so. Not even Danneel who is, generally speaking, not much of a hand-holder and very much an ‘I told you so’-er.

“Fuck men,” Genevieve says softly as she passes Jared a bowl of ice cream with one hand and rubs his back with the other, curling up next to him on the couch. “Men are just the worst.”

“It’s true,” says Adrianne, who is sitting cross legged on the floor across from them, watching Jared like he’s potentially going to explode any minute. “They’re all trash. Every single one of them. Except for you. You’re great.”

Jared sucks on a spoonful of half-baked and stares at his phone on the coffee table between them. A literal pity party was so not how he wanted to spend his Saturday night, but having the girls all watching him is the only thing preventing him from giving in to the urge to grab it every time it vibrates with yet another notification.

He can see the screen just well enough to read the latest update. Summonr’s logo lights up, announcing 28 new messages. Jared would love to believe that it’s all eligible new guys descending on him the moment he most needs a distraction, but he’s not stupid. He knows if he checks, they’ll all be from the same account.

“Jensen isn’t even a name,” Danneel announces from Jared’s other elbow as Genevieve continues to try to sooth him with her halfway back-rub. “Jensen. What on earth is that? Not a name, that’s for sure. Totally ridiculous. I hate everything about him.”

“I should have just listened to you guys,” he says sulkily, stabbing at a chunk of brownie. “Of course he’s fucking married. God, I’m so stupid, it never even occurred to me. I just _trusted him_.”

“That’s _not_ stupid,” Genevieve insists. “Other people being shitty and taking advantage of your goodness does not make you stupid. It makes him a cheating asshole, and that’s it.”

“Right, how were you supposed to know?” Adrianne, who just hours ago didn’t understand how Jared could possibly _not know_ that something was off, now waves her hand dismissively. “He gave you plenty of reasons to believe he was who he said he was. I mean, it’s not like he was using stolen identities or anything. You saw and heard him. Every indication was that he—”

“Was sneaking around,” Jared cuts in. “He never even lied to me about that. I invented reasons to believe everything was fine. Constantly had people around so he couldn’t talk out loud or turn his cam on and I never once thought it could be a spouse and I was just some sidepiece. And I fell in love with him. Holy crap, I’m the dumbest man alive.”

“You’re definitely not the dumbest man alive,” Danneel reassures him. “Remember that guy who worked in the cubicle next to yours for like a month before he got fired for trying to hotbox the copy room? Chad, was it?”

“Second dumbest man alive,” Jared amends. “Still pretty bad.”

A remote is shoved into his hand as Danneel stands, gesturing at the other girls to follow her. “You pick something to watch. We are going to be right back. Wait until you see what we brought you for dinner.”

“I’m already having ice cream,” Jared points out as he watches them leave, obviously about to have a conversation in the kitchen about whether he can be left alone tonight or if someone needs to invent an excuse to supervise him. It doesn’t take three people to grab four bags of take-out.

No one responds to his comment and Jared sighs, figuring it doesn’t matter much if he decides to stuff his face. There’s no one to look good for.

His phone buzzes with yet another notification, but now that there are no concerned, watchful eyes on him, the temptation to see what Dean—Jensen—has to say wins out and Jared snatches it up, putting in his password to see the most recent message on the thread.

Jared knows he won’t have enough time to catch up on all the messages Jensen has sent, so he quickly scans the ones visible at the bottom.

_**DeanW78:** Jared, please, let me explain._

_**DeanW78:** I know you hate me._

_**DeanW78:** I just need to talk to you. In person._

He bites his lip and glances toward the kitchen door, making sure he has enough time to type a quick response. He has no intentions of forgiving the sonofabitch, but he does want to make Jensen look him in the eye and own what he did. It’s too easy on him if it’s a clean break. Jared shouldn’t be the only one left feeling like shit.

_**JRODATX:** Tomorrow. Good Day Café on W Lebanon Street. 9 a.m._

_**JRODATX:** If your wife won’t mind you missing church._

In all honesty, he expects the timing to be a bigger deterrent, but _i’ll be there_ flashes across the screen almost immediately.

And not a moment too soon as he hears footsteps and quickly places his phone back where it was before, snatching up his ice cream bowl and sitting back on the couch.

“How’s a rewatch of _The Office_ sound to everyone?”

Danneel and Adrianne grin as they begin to spread Chinese food out on the table and Genevieve sighs. “Another one? Really? I _just_ got them to stop asking.”

“Have a heart,” Danneel says, petting Jared’s hair as she takes her place next to him. “This man is in pain.”

“You need a refill, Jared?”

He looks up from his phone and gives Felicia, the owner of his neighborhood coffeeshop, a strained smile as he shakes his head. Normally, they chitchat for a few minutes when he’s here, but she seems to pick up on the fact that he’s not feeling especially social. She squeezes his shoulder in acknowledgment and heads over to the next table, yelling out something _Dungeons and Dragons_ related as she greets a group of regulars.

Jared is watching their antics with as much of a smile as he can muster when someone takes the seat across from him, and the levity drops as soon as he looks over at Jensen.

“Hey,” says Jensen.

“Fuck you, you scumbag,” Jared replies, standing to go. “Well, there, I’ve covered everything I needed addressed.”

“Sit down,” Jensen tells him, bowing his head like he’s trying not to be seen. Of course he’s trying not to be seen. That’s what you do, when you step out on your wife. Jared figures Jensen probably has plenty of practice.

Jared does, but he pulls his hand back the moment Jensen tries to reach for it. “If you’re here because you’re worried I’ll say something to your wife, you can relax. Not that you deserve to. I’m just not sure what I would rat you out for. I thought it over all night. It’s not like we’ve slept together. And whatever went on between me and _Dean_ , I don’t know anything about _Jensen_. So it’s not like I’ve ever done anything with her husband. Never talked to him. And he isn’t someone I’m particularly interested in getting to know.”

“You have every right to feel betrayed,” Jensen says, annoyingly even. Jared wonders if he’s had this conversation before, and he’s embarrassed to feel tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. He quickly blinks them away. “I absolutely deserve it.”

“Yeah, I don’t actually need you to tell me that,” Jared replies.

“I know you don’t.” Jensen frowns at the table, sure not to look Jared in the eye. “I’m not here so you’ll forgive me. I just want you to understand.”

“Understand?” Jared huffs out a bitter laugh. “You wanted to get your rocks off and I was your sucker. Doesn’t take a Noble Laureate.”

“That’s not what it was,” Jensen insists, meeting Jared's gaze with intensity. “I need you to know that. I know I’m not the man you thought I was—”

“The man I _loved_ ,” Jared corrects. “That little catfish you invented was a person to me.”

“I didn’t mean for it to happen like it did,” Jensen insists. “It was an accident.”

“Oh, yeah, no, that makes sense.” Jared nods. “You accidentally made a profile on a dating app, then tripped and fell on your keyboard every night for six months and just so happened to type out messages to me. It must be hard, going through life so clumsy.”

“That’s not what I meant. The app I will own. I had my reasons. But you and I…it just got out of hand, it wasn’t ever supposed to be—”

“Got out of hand?” Jared’s voice breaks as he looks away. “I thought we were falling in love.”

“We were,” Jensen says softly. “I was.”

As Jared hazards a glance at him, someone stops at the table next to them and says in a booming, cheerful voice, “Jensen Ackles? What on Earth are you doing all the way on this side of town?”

Jensen takes a moment to smooth out his features, and by the time he turns to look at the man, his expression is so flat that Jared can only see the tenseness at the edges of it because he knows to look.

“Rich,” Jensen says, standing to shake the guy’s hand and pat him on the back. “Long time no see. This is Jared,” Jensen gestures across the table, “he works in insurance. Julie and I have been thinking of changing the benefits we offer our employees.”

“Very cool!” Rich says, beaming at Jared, who just hardly manages to return a closed lipped smile before his attention is back on Jensen. “Been meaning to get back out there sometime soon. How is the old place?”

“Good, real good,” Jensen replies. “Business is booming.”

“Well, let the record reflect that I was a fan before it was cool.” Rich briefly waves at Jared and gives Jensen a pat on the shoulder as he says, “It was nice meeting you. I’ll be seeing you around, man.”

“Yeah, you too.” Jensen’s smile is sharp and he seems to be willing to do or say anything to get rid of the guy. “Next time you stop in, let them know I said you could have a round on the house.”

“Will definitely do that,” Rich promises as he moves away and Jared watches Felicia scurry back to the register to take his coffee order.

Jensen is also obviously tracking Rich’s movements until the guy takes his drink and pastries to-go and the door chimes shut behind him.

“You’re really good at that whole lying thing,” Jared observes. “Easier than breathing, huh?”

“I didn’t lie,” Jensen says. “Everything I told him is true.”

“I’m not here to sell you insurance, Jensen,” Jared snaps. “But it’s very cool to know that you pay for your employees’ car coverage.”

“I said three unrelated things that were all accurate and I let him draw the conclusions.”

Jared whistles. “With rationalizations like that, it’s no wonder you can sleep at night!”

“I can't.” Jensen licks his lips and looks around the shop. “Listen, can we go somewhere more private? Apparently anyone can see us here.”

“It’s not a problem. I think I’ve learned everything I needed to know about you. Let’s just cut our losses. No more messages on Summonr. No more Saturday night video sessions. No more making me a part of whatever you justify doing to your wife.”

“Please,” Jensen says it so raw that despite his anger, it breaks Jared’s heart. He knows he shouldn’t be thinking this way, but that pathetic expression sitting across from him still belongs to the man he loves. Yesterday, he would have done anything to make Dean happy. That didn’t go away overnight just because it should have. Things don’t work like that. “Jared, I am begging you. I will leave you alone, but I need to tell you why. I need you to listen to me.”

Jared sighs, standing and angling his head in the direction of his apartment. “Come on, then. I live down the block. Just don’t get any ideas. You are so not about to get lucky.”

“I’m not like that,” Jensen says as he catches up to Jared and begins to follow him home. “I don’t fuck around. I haven’t ever.”

“I’ve got a chat log that says you do,” Jared reminds him. “C’mon, I know you can lie better than that, you’ve given me such great demonstrations.”

“Yes, okay, I'm a liar. You're right. I don't even have to think about it anymore. You get pretty good at something when it's your whole life. But I'm not unfaithful. The whole reason I got on Summonr to begin with was so that I _wouldn’t_ cheat." Jensen has to hurry to keep in step with Jared, and he gets a childish sense of satisfaction from that, walks just a little faster than usual as Jensen tries to keep up. “It was supposed to be harmless. Just some casual virtual hook-ups to release the tension. Once or twice a month. No real sex. It doesn’t count like that.”

“There was nothing casual about what we’ve been doing,” Jared replies. “You didn’t have to make me think it was more. I wasn’t looking for anything except an hour or two of fun.”

“This,” Jensen gestures between himself and Jared, “was not supposed to happen. You were so hot the first time, so I broke my rule. Let it happen with the same person more than once. I thought that’s all it would be. But once I started talking to you…” Jensen shakes his head as he looks away. “How was I supposed to stop once I started?”

Jared glares at him, at the unspoken accusation. They both know Jensen isn't the one that started the talking. “I was just being polite.”

“I know.” Jensen surprises him with a soft laugh that actually sounds light, happy. “Only you would get a ‘sorry I’m not in the mood tonight’ on an anonymous hook-up app and listen for an hour while a complete stranger rants at you about his work problems.”

“It seemed like you needed someone to talk to.” Jared shrugs. “I wasn’t doing anything else that night.”

“I did need someone to talk to,” Jensen says. “Not just that night, either. I didn’t even realize until you asked if I was okay how desperately I needed it. No one has ever been so willing to listen to me before. No one has cared what I had to say. Or…or liked me. Just for being me.”

“What about _your wife_?” Jared snaps.

Jensen looks down at his hands and thinks for a long time about how he wants to phrase his response. “Julie is a good woman. She’s an amazing mother. She’s kind to people and she’s always been kind to me. I even trust that she truly believes that she loves the man she thinks I am. The man my parents and our community expect me to be. I’ve tried so goddamn hard my whole life to be that man, Jared. I’m only human. When I got on that app, I wasn’t looking to cheat. I was trying to manage my—my illness.”

“Your illness?” Jared asks.

Jensen still won’t look at him. “I’ve never wanted her. Not like I want you.”

“That’s not an advanced strain of cooties, Jensen. It just means you shouldn’t have married her.”

“All due respect, that’s pretty easy for you to say,” Jensen responds, and when he lifts his head to finally look at Jared, there’s a little spark of defiance mixed in with the guilt. “You have no idea what it’s like—I wouldn’t wish it on you, not ever. But you don’t know. Your parents took you to your first pride parade the month after you came out to them. You were, what was it again? Thirteen?”

He waits just long enough for Jared to nod before continuing, “You grew up in this big liberal oasis. You went to schools with clubs that told you what you—we—are is beautiful and okay. You have friends who adore you. I’ve never had anything unconditional in my entire pathetic life until some complete stranger on the internet asked if I wanted to talk about it after I tried to blow him off because of my bad day. How was I supposed to stay away from you?”

They pause outside Jared’s building as he digs his keys out of his pocket and hands his coffee to Jensen while unlocking the door. “I sympathize with your situation, Jensen. I do. But that doesn’t make what you did okay.”

“I know that,” Jensen assures him. “I’m not here to justify any of it or try to convince you to forgive me. All I need is for you to understand.”

“Understand what?” Jared asks, rounding on him before ascending the stairs. “Why? You told me why. So are we done?”

Jensen shakes his head and Jared sighs, starting to climb. “What else could you possibly have to say? Nothing is going to fix how I feel right now. All we’re doing the longer we talk is pressing a bruise.”

They’re both quiet as they finish the walk to Jared’s apartment, winded as they take the steep stairs too quickly, and once they’re inside, Jensen pauses a moment to look around like he’s in the Taj Mahal instead of a 600 square foot apartment.

“It looks just like it does when you’re talking to me,” Jensen says, and then he laughs at himself. “I mean, of course it does. I just. Imagined so many times what it would be like to stand in here with you, and I never thought I would.” He shakes himself out of a daze when he focuses back on Jared. “Of course, you didn’t look so upset in all the fantasies.”

“You didn’t have a wife and kid in my fantasies, so I guess we’re both letdowns.”

“Two kids,” Jensen says. Jared gives him a questioning look, so he clarifies, “I’ve got two kids. My older daughter was with her grandparents yesterday. Ella. She’s seven.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better somehow?”

Jensen shrugs. “Sorry. I’ve spent so many months lying to you or hiding my life. Wishing I could share. All the funny things they do that I wanted you to know about, the way you always told me about what your friends got up to. I guess it’s not fair to start talking now, though.”

“Not after how desperately I wished to know more about you all these months.” Jared tosses his keys into the bowl on the counter and scratches the back of his neck. “It'll be hard enough without you suddenly opening up to me. I gotta start getting used to the fact that it was fake.”

“No.” Jensen’s voice is so emphatic with that one word that it forces Jared to focus his attention. “That—that is why I’m being so insistent. That’s what I need you to understand. There was a lot fucked up about what I did to you, I own that. You’re never going to talk to me again after today and I’m not sure how I’ll live with that, but I’ll manage. The only thing I can’t live with is you believing it was fake.”

“Who’s Dean Winchester?” Jared challenges.

“A character in a book series I read as a kid,” Jensen says. “Always wanted to be like him, the series wasn’t popular, so I figured no one would know.”

Jared flourishes his hands as Jensen demonstrates his point. “Right, like I said. Fake.”

“Dean, sure. Me? I’m not the man you thought I was or wanted me to be and I’m sure as hell not the man you deserve. But that’s my whole point. Someone someday will be. There’s no chance for me, not ever. But you? You can be happy. You can fall in love.” Jensen steps forward and slowly raises his hand, which is shaking, up to Jared’s chest and keeps his eyes on that instead of looking at Jared. “This big, open heart of yours. I can’t stomach the thought that you’ll become jaded because of me. That you’ll start doubting people and not open up to the next guy just because of what I did. You were so warm and so trusting when I didn’t even ask for it, Jared. That’s why I fell in love with you. I had no business doing it, but I’m not as sorry as I should be that I did. I will be if it costs you that innocence. Because I never had that and you gave it to me.”

“What innocence?” Jared scoffs. “We were jerking off half the time.”

“I’d never been in love,” Jensen whispers. “Never realized it actually felt like how people talk about it. Then one conversation with you and all I could think about the next day was when I’d get to talk to you again. Suddenly you were all I ever thought about. At work? I named a beer after you. An IPA. You said they were your favorite. I named it Cosmic Cowboy, because of that story you told me about your Halloween costume.”

Jared laughs despite himself. “Halloween 2004, yeah.”

Jensen smiles. “It’s good. Folks drink it like water. You should come by sometime. Have a pitcher on the house.”

“You make beer, then?” Jared asks. He’s been able to put together that Jensen owned some kind of business, even guessed a restaurant, but it makes his heart speed up just a little to know so much about his life. Maybe that makes Jared just as bad as Jensen. He's not supposed to care anymore.

“I’m the brewmaster down at my family’s brewery. Just outside of town.” He gives Jared a shy smile. “It’s called Family Business. We aren’t real creative types.”

“What kind of sorry ass fire and brimstone Christians own a brewery?” Jared asks, not realizing until he’s said it that he should maybe not be so harsh on Jensen’s family.

But Jensen doesn’t fight him on it. “We only hate things when it’s convenient. Beer? Big profit margin, beer can stay. Shellfish? Mom loves her crab cakes, so shellfish is fine. Fags? Don’t know any of those, don’t want to, they can burn in hell.”

“I’m sorry, Jensen,” Jared says. “You’re right that I have no idea what that’s like. I don’t know how I’d manage it, so I have no right to judge you for how you do. I just wish you hadn’t brought me into it.”

“I know.” Jensen takes a step back from him. “Anyway, that’s not my point. My point was just that I couldn’t get you out of my head. I was like a teenager in a way I never got to be. Even playing with my kids, the one thing in my life I enjoy. I was always thinking about you. I'd invent ways to sneak off to check my phone, or set up times to be with you instead. My wife thought it was such a nice idea I had, her and the kids going to have dinner with her parents every Saturday. It's a long drive, and we've got dogs, so we couldn't both go. She thought it was a sacrifice I made for her, but I just wanted to know I could be with you as close to real as possible once a week. I lived for our Saturdays, Jared. All week it was all I looked forward to, whether I was sitting at dinner with my family or going to church. All I ever think about is you.”

“Fucking your wife?” Jared prompts. “You think about me then?

Jensen’s face drops, but he nods. “I’m not proud.”

“You shouldn’t be,” Jared tells him. "What was your big plan? Were you ever going to tell me? Were you just planning to string me along forever or what?"

"I don't know," Jensen says honestly. "I didn't make a plan for this. Some days I was sure I'd come clean, see if you could still love me. Other days I told myself I was going to leave her, and then we could meet, once she and I were over and you'd never have to be a part of this mess. But most days...I've been waiting for you to find something better. Because I was sure I'd never have the nerve to be with you, and you deserve so much more."

“And today's misguided attempt to save me from—what? From wisening up? What was this supposed to accomplish? You just made this all ten times worse. At least when you weren’t Dean and I could tell myself you were a sleazy asshole and it was fake all along—it would have been easier not to love you. Now? I have to go back to mourning you. Why would you do this to me? Why would you be _him_?”

“I didn’t want to hurt you, Jared. More than anything, I didn’t ever want you to find out because I couldn’t stand the thought of this. Worse than my wife finding out, or my family disowning me, or whatever else would happen to me if they knew. All I wanted to do was protect you from getting hurt. But you know everything now,” Jensen says, glancing around the apartment one last time. “I should just go.”

Jared can’t bear to watch, so he turns his face away and waits for the sound of the door closing. Instead, a long moment passes before Jensen walks up to him and presses into his space, even closer than when he’d had his hand on Jared’s heart earlier. Jared can smell Jensen, something he’s dreamt of for months.

“What are you—?” Jared begins to ask, but Jensen interrupts him.

He grabs Jared by the shirt and pulls him in, pressing his face to Jared’s neck. “I’m so sorry. I know—I know I have no right to ask. You’re gonna say no and you should. I thought I could make myself leave without asking and I can’t. My feet feel like lead.”

“Ask what?” Jared replies, turning Jensen’s face up to look at him, which was a mistake, because Jensen is so gorgeous it’s debilitating and he looks desperate and Jared was supposed to stop the moment he learned who _Dean_ really was, but he still loves him so fucking much.

“Kiss me,” Jensen begs. “Please, Jared, just once. Just one time. I’ve never kissed someone I love. I can’t die never having kissed you. Please.”

Jared feels tears well in his eyes and he shakes his head ‘no’ but even as he does that, he’s taking Jensen’s face between his hands and pulling him in. He tries to tell himself that it’s only because Jensen needs it; the truth is he wants to. And he knows every step of the way how wrong it is. His mind is screaming that Jensen has a nice wife who never did anything to him and two kids who probably look up to their dad waiting at home, and none of that matters more than how they crash together and immediately find a rhythm, a half-angry and half-tender push-and-pull that leaves Jared dizzy. He doesn’t let himself stop, because Jensen said one kiss, so if he ever stops kissing Jensen, this ends for good.

His arms drop from Jensen’s face to his biceps, and soon he’s running his fingers up the firm muscles, pulling Jensen closer, wrapping around. He’s holding Jensen, the way he’s wanted to for months, and Jared realizes way, way too late that Jensen was right earlier when he said he had an illness. He didn’t tell Jared it was contagious. Jared can feel himself growing sicker every second he tastes Jensen, until he’s been consumed by this, an infection spreading to every cell in Jared’s body, killing off every concern he had about _right_ or _wrong_.

By the time they finally break apart, morality has flown right out the window for both of them.

“Fuck me,” Jensen says, pressing one hand to Jared’s face so he doesn’t pull back too far. “Fuck me, Jared.”

Jared knows in his gut that this wasn’t planned, that Jensen genuinely thought he was only asking for a kiss, just the same as he knows there’s no point pretending to second guess what’s about to happen. As soon as the words are out of Jensen’s mouth, Jared is pulling Jensen down the hall with him, still kissing every moment they can as he walks backward toward his bedroom.

Jensen exhibits none of the curiosity here that he’d had for seeing how Jared lived when they first got to the apartment. They’re both on the same runaway train now, hurtling toward some destination far south of Heaven.

He pulls Jensen’s shirt off over his head and Jensen seizes on his belt with the same urgency, so they’re falling into bed naked before much time has passed. Jared grabs lube and a condom from the nightstand as Jensen tries to make himself comfortable, but he’s hovering awkwardly when Jared turns to him.

“I don’t know how—” Jensen blushes. “I’ve never actually done it.”

“I know,” Jared says, pushing him down onto the mattress. He spreads Jensen’s legs and settles between them, popping the lube and dripping it onto his fingers. “I’m not gonna be gentle with you, though. You don’t deserve to be pampered.”

Jensen grabs his face and steadies it as Jared’s index finger finds his hole. “I want you to break me. I need to feel you inside for the rest of my life.”

The way he arches onto Jared’s fingers is even prettier than how he looked on camera all the times Jensen finger fucked himself while Jared watched, and it’s not much of a surprise that he doesn’t need to touch himself to get hard enough to do this. Jensen is hard, too, his long, thick dick resting against his stomach so red and so ready that Jensen starts to make pained sounds and thrust at nothing as Jared works on him.

“Please, please, please,” Jensen is muttering, completely out of his mind. “Jared, please. Fuck me.”

They’re both so eager that the few bumbling moments it takes him to rip into the condom packet and get that on seem endless. Jared doesn’t even give Jensen the courtesy of a warning. He lines himself up as soon as he can and begins pushing in. While it’s obvious from Jensen’s expression that the feel of Jared edging in is surprising to him, he proves to be a quick study and relaxes enough for Jared to fuck in with more ease than he’s had with far more experienced partners.

Jensen wraps one leg around Jared, letting the ball of his foot dig into Jared’s ass as he urges Jared on, still whispering pleas for Jared to fuck him, saying how long he’s been waiting, and…Jared has waited, too. Jared needs this, too. They’re both too desperate and too intense and it doesn’t last as long as he wishes it would. Jensen takes every thrust like a heavyweight champ, and Jared’s got a big enough dick that he’s used to pulling back, at least at first. Jensen doesn’t need that. From what he can tell, all Jensen needs is _Jared_. So it can’t be that wrong to give it to him.

When Jared is close, he takes hold of Jensen’s dick, using precome and lube to ease the friction and loving how Jensen slides in his hand, fucking into Jared’s fist with as much enthusiasm as he’s fucking back onto Jared’s cock. He’s kissing Jensen when it happens, when he starts to lose himself and Jensen joins him as he’s finishing, gasping into his mouth and coating Jared’s palm with his seed.

Maybe Jared has gotten into the whole thing too much, because he brings his hand up and licks a stripe down his palm, holding Jensen’s gaze as he does it. He doesn’t have to say anything to know they’re both thinking—Jensen’s pretty, churchgoing wife doesn’t do that. She doesn’t take Jensen apart from the inside and she doesn’t deserve him because he’s supposed to be for Jared to take care of, only for Jared.

Jensen’s groan as he watches Jared sounds almost painful, like it’s being ripped from the depths of his soul, and the noise is beautiful and radiant and somehow sad at the same time. It breaks the spell. As soon as silence replaces it, Jared realizes just what the fuck he did.

He rolls off Jensen, feeling like he might be sick, but even more like if he doesn’t get away immediately, he’ll do it all over again. 

“Go,” he says. He can’t even look at Jensen and he’s honestly not sure if that’s because he hates Jensen or because he loves him so much he’ll never be able to stay firm if he does. “Get out of here and don’t ever message me again.”

“Jared,” Jensen whispers behind him. Just as sad and apologetic as he’d said it in the parking lot yesterday. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. He’s just as married. The only difference is now the blood is on Jared’s hands, too. He wasn’t guilty of anything when he hadn’t known.

“Please go,” Jared replies, feeling a tear fall onto his pillow. “This can’t happen again. And I can’t stop it. If you love me at all, make this easier on me. Please. I’ve given you everything you asked for.”

Jensen goes, but he doesn’t respect the rest of Jared’s wish. At first, the messages come as often as ever, but without Jensen there in front of him, Jared finds his strength. He doesn’t delete them or take the app off his phone, even though the thought of meeting anyone else on Summonr, even just to fuck, now makes him queasy. He doesn’t block Jensen like he honestly knows he should. He doesn’t even ignore the messages, not really. At first he reads all of them. Little by little, he weens himself off and only reads some of them. As time passes, Jensen sends fewer and fewer. Jared never responds. That’s the only shred of dignity he can muster. At least Jensen doesn’t know he’s still paying attention.

Usually, they’re just life updates, the kind Jared used to give him and Jensen used to withhold, back when he was still “Dean.” Jared craved those and he can be honest with himself at least, he treasures every one he gets the same way he would have before.

_**DeanW78:** Ella kidnapped her brother’s stuffed dinosaur and held him for ransom today. I had to buy her that ice cream you liked to make her relent. I think she might have tortured him, but DinoSteve is no snitch._

_**DeanW78:** ur officially the best selling beer in Family Business history._

_**DeanW78:** my bathtub is leaking into the dining room downstairs. The water damage on the ceiling looks like a smiley face. The one you used to send sometimes, with the nose. :o)_

Other times, Jensen just sends sweet little nothings.

 _ **DeanW78:** Your voice sounds the way being home is supposed to feel._

_**DeanW78:** I fell in love with you the first time I heard you laugh._

_**DeanW78:** Wherever you are today, I hope ur surrounded by love. U should always be._

Occasionally, Jared can tell that Jensen is more horny than sentimental.

_**DeanW78:** I touch myself every day thinking of you, and I can never get deep enough._

_**DeanW78:** wish i could see if those pretty dimples of yours go away when ur mouth is full. Want you to suck my cock so bad. Jared. u have any idea what thinking about ur mouth does to me?_

_**DeanW78:** I still look at the pictures u sent me. I tell myself you can feel my eyes on you, and I get off on that_

Rarely, Jensen is too raw to bother hiding the message, so he just says exactly what he means.

_**DeanW78:** I love you._

_**DeanW78:** Jared, I miss you. I wish you would talk to me.._

_**DeanW78:** I can’t have you once and never again._

Then there’s the one that forces Jared’s hand.

_**DeanW78:** I’m leaving my wife._

He reads that one over and over for twenty minutes straight, and the hope and excitement that bubbles up inside him is how he knows what he has to do.

“I’m leaving my wife,” Jared reads it out loud to no one in particular, and his empty apartment seems to come to the same conclusion he did. Isn’t that what married men always say? And aren’t they usually lying?

Jared opens Summonr, goes to Jensen’s profile, and presses the block button, like he should have the moment he set eyes on Jensen's wife.

It happens four months after Jared learns who Dean really is. Four months since Jared consciously became a homewrecker. Four months since he cut his heart out of his chest and sent it back to its picket fence life. Four months and then one day there’s a knock at the door.

Jared opens it to see Jensen standing in front of him, proving that four months doesn’t make a guy any less thrilled to see the married love of his life, given he’s enough of a goner.

“Who let you in the building?” Jared asks, instead of throwing himself into Jensen’s arms. He’s pretty proud of that.

Jensen shrugs. “Some old lady with a Pomeranian.”

“Well, she shouldn’t have,” Jared says. “It’s against condo rules.”

“I’ve got one of those faces people just trust,” Jensen tells him. “And one of those butts old ladies love to pinch.”

Jared can’t help smiling a little, but he stays on message. “Jensen, what are you doing here?”

“Well, I don’t know what else I was supposed to do,” he replies, leaning against the doorframe. “You blocked me!”

“That was a hint,” says Jared. “A subtle one, I’ll grant, but it meant ‘stop contacting me.’”

“Can’t do that. Addictive personality. Ironic I work with alcohol, huh?”

Jared gives him a flat look, making it clear he’s not impressed by Jensen’s playing this off like it’s nothing, so Jensen sighs and reaches into his back pocket, pulling out a folded stack of papers.

He hands them to Jared and waits as Jared looks them over.

“Julie McNiven,” Jensen says, pointing to the signature on the bottom of the page. “That was her name before we got married. She’s using it again now. You know. Since—”

Jared’s head jerks up as it all clicks into place and he interrupts Jensen, “You brought me your divorce papers?”

“You didn’t believe me, right?” Jensen shrugs. “This time I wasn’t lying.”

“You did this for me?” he asks.

“Yes and no,” Jensen says. “I did it for me, because I was miserable. And for her, because she deserves better than to believe she’s got a husband who loves her when he doesn’t. And for my kids, because I want them to really know their dad.”

“All good reasons,” Jared replies.

“Yeah, sure, but…” Jensen looks up to meet his eyes. “Mostly I did it because I couldn’t live another day without you.”

“Divorces take longer than this?” Jared asks. “Don’t they?”

“Usually. When it’s complicated.” Jensen shrugs. “I gave her almost everything she asked for. My shares in the business—”

“You love that brewery,” Jared says.

Jensen looks to the ground. “Not like my dad was gonna let me keep working there after I told him I’m a cocksucker.”

“Jensen.” Jared steps forward to put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

“Got another job at a competitor, so…it is what it is.” He leans toward Jared’s touch, licking his lips. “I don’t care about that. I don’t care about Julie taking the house. All I wanted was fair time with my kids and to be free so I could come crawling home to you.”

Jared hands the papers back. “This doesn’t change what you did to me, Jensen. This doesn’t mean I can trust you.”

Jensen swallows kinda bitter and nods. “Gave it my best shot, at least.”

He watches Jensen start to turn away and immediately reaches out, tugging him back by his wrist, because that’s about as far as his ability to play this cool stretches. “But on the other hand, I have so many grammar notes saved on the 800 messages you’ve sent me over the last few months.”

“Oh, yeah?” Jensen asks, a smile forming tentatively at the edges of his lips. “Well, you would have to unblock me to respond, so…”

Jared pulls him into his apartment and lets the door slam shut before pushing Jensen up against it and kissing him. “I think your spelling skills are beyond saving. And I don’t think you’ll be needing to meet hot guys for cybersex anymore.”

“Mmm,” Jensen says, grazing his nose along Jared’s cheek. “So what are you saying?”

Jared grins so wide he thinks his face might break. “Delete your account.”


End file.
